Bloody Fruitcake!
by TempestXtreme
Summary: Rebecca just's wants to relax, but the local Fruitcake has other ideas... R&R plz!


Bloody Fruitcake! 

**By TempestXtreme**

Insert usual disclaimer here 

It was noon in the Land of the Harem, and Rebecca was lying on a deck chair wearing a dark green one piece bathing suit and sunglasses, her dark brown hair loose on the back of the chair. This was the first time since Rachel dropped in two weeks ago that she had felt so…at ease. Normally, she would be either reading, learning to use a computer without accidentally hacking into a government computer system (she still wondered who in their right mind would have 'Bronx' as a password…), or reading, or even having a go at the Sentinel Robots in the Danger Room. 

Today, however, she was just relaxing. Lashana and Blackwargreymon were watching a movie together, and Telca and Remy were on holiday again. She had no idea what the other Guys were doing, and truthfully she didn't really care at the moment, as long as Zelgadis wasn't going through her spell books and scrolls again – he had tried to cast one of her newer spells earlier that week…it had backfired and knocked him right out; and it was not even a Black Magick spell. 

A shadow fell over her, and she looked up…right into Xellos' grinning face.

"ACK!" she rolled off of the chair and jumped to her feet, glad that she never wore any kind of two-piece bathing suite in this dimension. Especially after the way the last Challenger that had come to fight Lashana had been staring at her… 

"What do you want, fruitcake?" she asked, debating whether or not she should summon a Ragna Blade and run him through with it. 

Then she saw where he was looking. "My face is up here!" she snapped. He grinned.

"But it's not as interesting as-" he began.

"HENTAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII! VICE FREEZE!"

*-*-*

Lashana blinked as the entire front yard was turned into a huge ice field. 

"Methinks that Xellos pissed Becca off again," she said. 

"At least she didn't Omega Slave him this time," Black replied, eyeing the ice-skating racoon that had just darted past the window. "L-sama was NOT happy when she did that."

Lashana nodded. "I'd rather not have to rebuild the palace again," she said. "Rebecca has GOT to look into anger management classes."

"I HEARD THAT!" 

Rebecca stormed past the TV Room. "That damn fruitcake just ruined my day!! He was staring at me like a piece of meat! Damn hentai!!"

The rest of her rather colourful remarks about the Freak could be heard clearly from her bedroom upstairs. She stopped by the TV room a few minutes later and stuck her head inside.

"You guys want anything?" she asked, not surprised when they asked for a root beer each and a refill of their popcorn. "OK, I'll get...whoa!"

She ducked the flying popcorn bowl. "Hey! Warn me next time!" she said, picking the bowl up and walking to the kitchen. She waved to Nightcrawler as she walked in. "Hey. How are you doing?"

"Fine," the teen replied, eyeing Rebecca's outfit of a grey t-shirt and blue pants. "How are you?"

Rebecca quirked a brown eyebrow at the teen, and then she smiled. "Do you like my shirt?" she asked. It was a custom shirt with the words, "Yes, I'm beautiful but I've also got a Ragna Blade and a Giga Slave. You want to look at my face now instead of my chest?"

Kurt chuckled. "Yeah," he said, bamfing back to his room. Rebecca chuckled – she had worn this shirt in public a week ago, and males that saw her suddenly found their feet extremely interesting. She turned to get some more popcorn, but instead walked right into Xellos.

"ACK! When did you thaw out!?" 

"Sore wa himitsu desu, Rebecca-chan!" he grinned.

Rebecca twitched. "Xellos?"

Her voice was eerily calm. "Hai, Rebecca-chan?" Xellos asked.

"DON'T CALL ME 'CHAN'!!!" Rebecca slammed the bowl over the Fruitcake's head. "FIREBALL!!"

"ARIGATO!" Xellos grinned as he wriggled around no the ground, crispy from the spell. 

"Ugh…" Rebecca shuddered. "Bloody hentai."

She got a clean bowl out of a cupboard and found the popcorn. She paused and simply poured the un-popped popcorn into the bowl, putting some butter onto the popcorn before casting a Fireball spell with just enough power to pop the snack without damaging the bowl. 

"Ha! Instant popcorn!" she grinned and put the popcorn bowl on the counter and went to the fridge to get some root beers. The Thing in the back of the fridge came rushing out, but Rebecca merely reached into a storage portal and pulled out one of her many medieval weapons – in this case a mace. "Back off or else I'll smash you," she said. "THEN I'll put Xellos in there!"

The Thing shuddered and backed away. Rebecca smirked and grabbed two root beers and slammed the fridge shut. She looked at the root beers in her hands, a rather nasty idea forming in her mind. Chuckling, she opened a portal directly above Blacky and Lashana, and tossed the two beverages into it.

"Ow! REBECCA!!" Lashana yelled from where she was still sitting on the couch with Black. Rebecca closed the portal and grabbed the popcorn, walking to the TV Room. "Yes?" she asked sweetly. "You called?"

She ducked the fireball. "What?" she asked. "You threw a bowl at me! That was payback!"

She ignored the glares that the Bonded couple were sending her and walked over to the couch, putting the bowl next to them calmly. "Enjoy the rest of your movie!" she said. "I'm going to do…well, something. Just as long as Xellos doesn't bother me again. For some reason, he thinks that bothering me is fun."

Lashana sighed. "Xellos loves to bug everybody," she said. "Why did you get us a new bowl?"

"I smashed the other one over Xellos' head," Rebecca said. "I didn't want to poison you, so I got a new one."

"Ugh, thanks then," Blackwargreymon shuddered as he spoke. "We lose more bowls that way."

Lashana rolled her eyes. "You go and relax, Becca," she said. Rebecca grinned and nodded.

"Sure thing!" she said, opening a portal to the library. "You don't mind if I read one of your books, do you?"

"Go ahead," Lashana replied, watching as the other sorceress jumped into the portal, the doorway closing behind her. "Why do you think Xellos is taking care to annoy Becca out of all of us today?"

"You could ask him," Blackwargreymon said, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer. "If you can get a straight answer out if him, that is."

Lashana thought for a moment. "Nah," she said. "If Xellos gets Dragon Slaved into orbit again it's his own fault."

"And if we have to rebuild the palace?" 

"…Rebecca can pay for it this time."

*-*-*

Rebecca was halfway through a Mercedes Lackeys book when Xellos teleported in. 

"Hello, Rebecca-chan!" he said, blinking when she merely continued to read, easily ignoring him. "Hmm? Ignoring me?"

Rebecca finished the chapter that she was reading, marked the page, and looked at him calmly. "Hello, Xellos," she said, smiling sweetly. "Want a hug?"

"W-what?" 

Rebecca stood up…revealing that she was wearing a pink shirt with hearts all over it with the words: "When I smile the world smiles with me," written on it. She continued to smile and walked up to him. 

"You need a hug!" she said. "Come here!"

Xellos choked and teleported away. 

"Hehe."

Rebecca picked up her book and continued to read.

*-*-*

_4 PM_

Rebecca hummed cheerfully as she did laps around the pool, wearing a conservative two-piece PINK bathing suit with little smiling faces all over it. She finished her laps and got out of the pool, grabbing her purple Barney towel and wrapping it around her body. She used a wind spell to dry herself off and happily walked inside, whistling the melody 'You are my sunshine' as she walked by the Library, where Lashana was busy reading. 

Xellos was cowering behind the couch.

"Is she gone?" he said, peeking over the couch. "She's so, so…HAPPY!!"

Lashana started to hum a happy tune.

Xellos blinked, paled, and teleported away.

"Gods I love being evil," Lashana said.

*-*-*

Rebecca got dressed into a bright pink t-shirt and matching jogging pants and tied her hair back with – you guessed it – a bright pink ribbon. Duncan looked at her, blinked, and decided that he didn't really want to know. Rebecca skipped – yes, skipped – downstairs, still humming 'You are my sunshine' cheerfully. 

Xellos heard her coming and teleported away. 

Rebecca stopped in her tracks, grinned evilly, and started to laugh loudly.

"Becca? Why are you laughing?" Lashana asked as she walked by the other sorceress.

"…I just got Xellos back for annoying me tenfold," she grinned, snapping her fingers to change her clothing to a blue top and matching pants. Lashana blinked, and then started to cackle.

"Good!" she said. "Come on! Time for dinner!"

**The End! ^_^**


End file.
